When does a young adult get a date option?


We have just been invited to my niece's bat mitzvah. My son who is twenty has been dating someone for almost two years. Everyone in the family is well aware of the relationship as she has been included in smaller family functions. She was not included in the Bat Mitzvah invite. The question is, what is proper etiquette when inviting young adults (relating to dates) to these type functions.

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Etiquette Speaking ...
by: Miss P Etiquette

Dear Mom,

There is a simple rule of thumb used in these situations, or there should be!

In bygone eras, important occasions such at a Bat Mitzvah included family only. This means blood relations and in-laws with an exception once in a while for the engaged couple in the family.

While this is not strictly adhered to today, the celebration to which you refer is indeed a family as well as a religious event. Having been included in family gatherings of lesser importance is not necessarily relevant in this situation.

Therefore, to answer your question, etiquette from long ago clearly defined family as blood relations and in-law. As we all know, today families are more complex. However, it is still the prerogative of your niece's family to exclude non family member. If they have not invited her for another reason, the etiquette does not apply, of course.

I do hope this helps although I doubt it was the answer you wanted.

Sincerely,
Miss Practical Etiquette

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