Wedding Invites - proper etiquette inviting adult cousins

by Gail
(New York)

I have three adult sons (30, 27, and 19)all still living home. My cousin's son is getting married. Only my 30 y.o. son was invited and was not given a separate invite. His name was included on the inside envelope. Has been dating a girl for 3 years and he was also not invited with a date. This is a family wedding I am a little upset that my other son (27 y.o.) was not invited. Could understand if the younger son's name was on my invitation.

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Family Matter
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Gail~

After reading your question over again, I still cannot find your actual inquiry. Did the invitation come to you only? Was your son's name on the inside envelope along with yours? Was the enclosed RSVP card meant for both of you to use together? If the above is true, then the invitations were sent incorrectly, which makes a response difficult.

If the question is whether or not the bride and groom should have invited two of your sons and any significant others, I do not know the answer. These are family matters. Wedding guest lists can become overcrowded with relatives and their "dates". Weddings are costly with the price usually figured as a "per person" charge. I mention this to illustrate the difficulty we have when trying to include all our family in these special occasions.

Good manners do require all of us to be gracious when accepting or declining an invitation. Doing this without reproach for those we feel were overlooked also demonstrates correct practical etiquette.

I hope you enjoy the wedding and there are no hurt family feelings.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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