Passive Agressive Neighbor

by Kaite
(Lima)

I have a neighbor who does all sorts of passive aggressive things. I rarely have the money to order restaurant food and when I do, it's a real treat. The problem is, she has a tendency to come down into the apartment lobby and hang around if she sees me waiting (I believe she knows my schedule and pay day better than I do). When she sees me get food, she follows me upstairs, talking all the way about this and that. I've politely interrupted to say, "Jessica, I am very hungry and I want to eat this fresh but I was taught not to eat in front of others, I really can't have you come in." She will simply ignore me and keep talking.

She once stopped dead in the middle of the lobby, stared at me as I opened the mailbox, put an envelope in my purse, and walked out the door. She followed me loudly saying, "Did you get a check? I'm out of toilet paper/out of food/did you want to go out to eat? Do you have a cigarette?" I don't want her to follow me because (obviously) I'm planning to cash a check and spend it on myself.

I could be smoking a cigarette outside at 2 in the morning and she'll pop right out the door and want to bum one. I could be gone all weekend and come home to find several notes shoved under my door that are increasingly "worried" and then "upset" that I'm not responding. She once called the apartment manager swearing something had happened to me and demanded that I tell her where I'm going so she won't worry. (Usually, if I'm going somewhere, she wants to go too). When I come home after a long day, she's pacing the lobby waiting on me and immediately follows me, asking for favors and how my day went and whether or not we can spend some time together. (I have VERY little alone time as I am working, going to school, taking care of my father, involved in church and part of two clubs).


I don't want to be outright rude, but anything I say falls on deaf ears. One time, I got so frustrated at having only 15 minutes to eat half my pizza while she wasn't leaving so I ate in front of her. She went on and on about how good it looked and how hungry she was and asked if I had an extra can of green beans - which she ate cold out of the can while talking about how good my food looked.

The kicker is that I know she is broke, doesn't have money for cigarettes or food, so I feel guilty. When she does get money, she asks me to walk to the store with her (if it's late, I feel like I have to, even after a long day) and she is very demanding that I IMMEDIATELY stop what I'm doing "because it's important". Of course, she then takes up to twenty minutes of going back and fourth to her apartment and mine, wanting to change her shoes, and checking and re-checking her door to see if it's locked. One day, I got sick of waiting and went back to my apartment and refused to answer the door. She was furious and I felt guilty

So yes, this neighbor is quite rude and it seems like I almost have to be rude in return because basic manners are not getting through to her.