Am I wrong not to invite my sister in law over to a house party?

by Susi
(California)

My brother and sister in law recently separated about a month ago and aren't speaking to each other. They've been together for 17 years, so she is family to us. I am going to have a party at my house next Friday and have already invited my brother and nephews but am still thinking on whether I should invite my sister in law or not. My first thought was not to invite her to avoid the awkwardness of seeing them two avoid each other all night. I'm having second thoughts though because I am starting to feel guilty for not inviting her. I'm afraid I will hurt her feelings and only 'cause tension between our relationship. I know that if I invite her she is surely to come and I'm not exactly sure if I want that, I wish I could invite her to avoid feeling guilty but know that she would make the decision not to come. Please help.

Susi

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Invitations
by: Ms P Etiquette

Susie~

If you wish to stay out of the stress and strain between your brother and sister in law, I can give you an acceptable way to deal with this situation now and again when it occurs in the future.


Invite them both. Do not discuss who will be there. If one of them asks if the other is coming, respond that you invited them both but do not know who will actually attend. This allows them to begin working out how they are going to behave with each other in public in the future.


Be neutral. When either of them asks you questions about the other don't answer. Change the subject. In this way you are treating them equally, making it their job to figure out their own behavior. Good luck. Give us an update after the party.

Ms Practical Etiquette
Ex's to party's
by: Anonymous

Even though it is your sister in law, I feel out of respect to your brother you should let him know your plan. I have been faced with the same situation. My sister insists on inviting my ex for my children who are grown adults saying they will not come if he does not. I do not want him invited and feel she should respect my decision. My children can then make the decision as to whether they want to come or not.

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